Here in the rain it is cold and I am struggling - struggling to get through these cycling days while my brain conjures severance plans, ways I could still do this that wouldn't be so frustrating. Update: my fingers are numb, my knees are killing, there is a shooting pain to my elbow. Remember - it is raining. Ugh.
Could I hitch-hike, bus? All travel methods come with their miseries, but as I pop more pills than I have in my life to deal with my aches and pains, I wonder - is this beginning to do more bad than good for me? I seem to have passed a threshold of being in great shape.
I weigh 170lbs now. That's the same weight, I think, as Derek discovered the bike's weighed back in BC. I hope I haven't been pulling my own weight. That is insane. I am not an ant. I am a human being, dammit!
So today of all days is the day I most consider abandoning the bicycle. I have a hard time deciding whether I am a wuss or being practical. How do I reconcile? My fingers have been going numb for almost three weeks now, and they're getting worse....
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